Part 3 4/30/17

I go to the house, at this point its about 9:30 PM. I ring the doorbell and he is not answering. I know he is home because he has my younger son. My older son was at my parents home. I rang it another time with still no answer. I went around to the back and found that he was in the kitchen, with a mug of wine, literally walking in circles, in the dark. It was very eery. I waited on the porch for approximately 5 minutes. I just watched him. I could tell he was very drunk. My husband and his drinking was not uncommon. He drank nightly, at least a bottle of wine or 3-4 beers. I finally knocked on the glass. He saw me, and then closed the blinds. At this point I am worried for my sons safety. I knew he was drunk, and he was alone and depressed in the house with my son. I went around to the front and rang the doorbell repeatedly until he came to the door. He finally came to the door and he came outside. He just said “what”. I asked him if he would talk and he kept saying there was nothing to talk about. I just wanted to know why. Why he married me when he was doing these things, why he took vows AGAIN when he was in love with another woman. He finally ended up coming outside. He didn’t say much. Usually, this type of conversation ended up in a huge yelling match, but this time, it didn’t. We talked for about 5 minutes. It was very calm. Almost eerily calm. We decided to end the conversation and again, that our relationship was over. He proceeded to walk inside. I told him I was going to stay the night because he was obviously drunk, and I would get up with our son in the morning so he could sleep in.  He did not want that to happen. He said no. I said yes, I am going to stay with my son. I tried to go into the house and he leaned up against me trying to push me out. I said please just let me come in to take care of my son and I will leave in the morning. He said “get the $@&! out of my house. He then did the unthinkable. I truly believe it was a reaction, not making any excuses for him, but he was drunk and angry. He was leaning up against me and his elbow popped up and hit me in the side of the head. I got knocked out. I believe it was only for a quick second but I woke up on the ground half of my body in the doorway and half outside with the glass door hitting my legs. I woke up to him kicking me in the back saying “go passout somewhere else, no one gives a flying #@$& about you.” He had stealtoe boots on so this left several bruises all over me. I, very dizzy, got up and stumbled down the driveway. I, for some reason, thought to let the air out of his tire so he couldn’t leave. I called the police and walked down the street to get away. I was so scared as I knew my son was still in the home. The police came with an ambulance, and a firetruck. It was chaos. The police knocked on the door and when he failed to answer, they drew their guns. Mind you, we live in a nice neighborhood so this is not normal for this neighborhood. He finally came out, hands up and they arrested him. I was in the back of the ambulance at this point only worried about my son. I was screaming at the top of my lungs for him. The police bought him to me and I just held him. Fortunately, he was sound asleep and did not wake up for any of the mayhem. I called two of my friends and they raced to my home. I refused medical treatment, as I was scared and I didn’t know what to do, even though I knew i probably I needed it. I put my son back in his bed and went to talk to my friends. I had to wait for the victim response team as well. They urged me to go seek medical treatment as it would be imperative to be able to convict my husband. I went to the hospital and got checked out. The police came and took pictures of my bruises etc. I went home and did not sleep at all that night. I had called my parents that night and left them a voicemail to tell them the events of the evening. In the morning, I didn’t know what to do. I was very scared as I had no idea when he would be released. There is a thing called vine, which I had signed up for and I immediately was notified upon his release. I had no idea who had bailed him out of jail as I knew he had no money. The next thing I know, and the last thing I expected, my father is pulling up to the house with my husband in the car, they had bailed my husband out of jail. I immediately call the police. I had a protection order on my husband and I did not want him anywhere near my home. The police came and I gave him some clothes that he was requesting. The next day, I decided that I was going to drop the protection order against my husband. Mostly for the kids. I also wanted to drop the charges against him, but in the state of Nebraska, its not your choice. The state at this point is the one charging them, not the individual. I was still living in our home and my husband was staying at my parents house. About a week after the incident occurred, my parents talked me into trading places with my husband. I was VERY upset at the fact that they even took him in and I didn’t understand why they would do such a thing after he knocked out their own daughter. Reluctantly, I agreed. We traded places. I was very messed up emotionally at this point. My life literally been turned around in a matter of days. I was very depressed, emotional and confused. After a couple weeks, things got a little better. My husband and I started speaking again. Although I wanted to be back with him (no idea why) he didnt. I admit at this point it was a little obsessive. We were getting along. My husband was doing some side jobs building decks. I would pick the kids up from him, we would go out to lunch/dinner with the kids etc. It was good, for a while. This abruptly stopped on the night of October 12th, 2013. My husband and I were talking every night, texts, phone calls the whole bit. But on this particular night, it stopped. I started actually getting worried that he wasn’t answering, and into the next day, still no answer. I ended up going to the zoo that day, still wondering what was going on. I had both kids with me. I went by our home on the way home, and what I found I’ll never forget. My husband, was walking out of our home with another woman. I pulled in the driveway and got out of the car to confront him about this. He just said I needed to leave, etc. I know this was wrong as the kids were with me, but my mind took over. I pulled into the garage and he left. I stayed at the home for approximately 3 days. Again my parents convinced me and I finally decided it was time to leave as I knew if I went back to work he was just going to come back and take the house anyways. I left in a hurry only grabbing the things I saw. I grabbed a trash bag full of clothes, the PS3, and a binder of movies. I didn’t have a lawyer at this time and my husband was trying to get custody of my son. I decided, on a temporary basis, until I got help for my depression, that he could have temp custody. Little did I know, this would decision would haunt me for the rest of my life. We sat in a conference room at the courthouse and made a verbal agreement that he would temporarily have custody until I got help. My husband started not letting me see my son, which was such a change from before he met this woman. He kept him from me for two months. This is where my severe depression started. From mid October to December, I don’t remember much of what happened as it went by so quick. I was not doing well at all. I threatened suicide, which was a complete cry for attention. I had not done that since I was a teenager and I would never ever kill myself, but I did it for attention. The horrible part of this, is when I threatened suicide, my older son was in the next room and heard me. I then knew it was time for help and something quick. I saw a counselor and she suggested that I get help at an inpatient treatment center. I did not want to do this. Those facilities only make you more depressed, for me anyways. My mother came with me to my counseling appointment and told me she thinks it is best that if they take guardianship of my son until I decide to get help. She said it would only be temporary so I agreed. They filed the paperwork and I signed. I then put myself through a two week partial care program. That helped a lot, but I was far from better. I had got depressed again to a new level. I had a huge fight with my mother and she wanted me out of the house. I again, threatened to kill myself and was going to leave. She begged me not to leave and if I did she would call the police. I was half way out of the driveway and I slammed the car into drive and pulled back in. My mother was in the doorway of the garage, so I was no where near her. She then started the claims that I tried to “hit her with my car” which are in several affidavits against me. She called the police, and kicked me out of my home and got a restraining order against me and it included my son. I fought that, but lost. I think this was mostly due to the threat and my son hearing me.  I was allowed to have supervised visits with my son twice a week for two hours. I had to move in with my best friend and her girlfriend. They took me in and and took care of me. I had about a month where I drank almost every single day getting a DUI in the process. Keep in mind I still had not seen my son. The next month was kind of a blur. I ended up pretty much losing my mind. I stalked my husband, everyday. I found out that he and his girlfriend had moved my son to Iowa, two days after knowing her on October 12th. I became obsessed with this. I wanted to know who she was and where my son was living. One night, somehow, (I still have no idea how) but I came across where she lives. I saw my husbands car outside her home. It got really bad after this. I went to her house daily. Literally stalking them like a crazy person. One night, I went to their home and I poured sugar in her gas tank and then I keyed her car. My best friend really helped me out of this period, although she did not know all of the details of what all I did during the time I was at her home. I moved out of Her house because they were moving and it was time for me to move on. I had stopped drinking at this point and After that, I started to get better. In January, it was time for my husbands trial for the domestic violence. He chose to have a jury trial and maintained his innocence, with my parents on his side of the courtroom supporting him. The trial lasted for a full day and the verdict came in around 7PM. Guilty. He got a $100 fine. I was flabbergasted. I could not believe he pretty much got away scotch free! I moved in with two people that I worked with at the time. I didn’t do much of anything anymore. Just stayed at home. I had surgery in early March to remove part of my tailbone due to severe pain. I was laying in bed after coming home from the store and on the night of March 12, 2014, I was arrested in my home. At the time, I was in denial and had NO clue why I was being arrested. I soon found out why. I denied what I did for about 3 days. I then realized what I was doing. I just need to come clean, and take responsibility for what I did. I spent the next week in jail. I had a warrant in two counties so when I bailed out of one, I had to be extradited to the other and bail out of that one. This was quite possibly the worst time in my life. I had never been in jail and not seeing my kids for a week broke me like I never thought I could be broken. That is when I really started to turn my life around. I vowed to get better for my children as they were the only thing that mattered in this and I had to have them back! Once I was out of jail the supervised visits continued. This was so hard for me as my children are my whole life, I was a stay at home Mom for two years so to go from that to this was unbearable. I had to either meet them at the mall, or my home for two hour periods. This lasted for about two months. My husband also started letting me see my son for the same periods of time, although he was constantly late. Every moment with my sons is precious and savored every minute of it. The next few months were hard, but at least I was seeing my kids. I ended up moving again, to my friend Stephanies couch. I had no job at this point and I had nothing. I got a job shortly after as an operations manager at a health insurance data solutions company. I got my first attorney shortly before I had gone to jail. She stated that I was pretty much screwed. She represented me for a while but we then mutually parted ways as We did not agree with what I wanted. Everyone was using my “mental” state against me and what I did against me and I did not think that was fair. My husband was convicted of domestic abuse and how could he get my son over me?! And I also wanted the guardianship terminated and she did not think that was going to happen either. The hard part of this is my father is a very well respected person and CEO of a company. My mother on the other hand, had just had a DUI the last year. The questions kept running through my head, why am I being portrayed as such a bad person!? I do know that what I did was wrong, I openly admitted this in court come July and took the sentence that was given to me. My husband constantly broke the agreement we had, missed two months of visits, phone calls etc, and it continued. We agreed in March that if there were no issues for 30 days than I could have my visitation back. 30 days came and went. It would be about 2-3 months later that I got partial visitation back and nothing had happened during that 30 days. I still only saw my son rarely. I then ended up getting my previous divorce Lawyer involved. And boy was that a mistake. He represented me for a total of about 3-4 months. We had a trial coming up in November for custody of my youngest child. At this point, my mental state is fine. I had gone through a lot of treatment, and still to this day see a counselor. My attorney seemed optimistic that I would be able to get my kids back but it was going to be a battle. I had several witnesses to bring to trial with me. My best friend, my counselors, my other friends, co-workers, etc. On the day of trial, My attorney came into the courtroom with a sad looking briefcase, with nothing but a notebook in it. The opposing, came in with mounds of evidence. Part of this trial was a contempt order that I was holding against my husband for all the missed times, missed phone calls, etc. When we first got there, the two attorneys went into the chambers with the judge. Mind you I have to now sit in the courtroom with his pregnant girlfriend, all her friends and family, and my parents ALL of which were supporting my husband. The next two hours changed my life forever. My lawyer stated that I was going to lose and I had no choice but to make a deal with them. We went into the hallway and mediated what my lawyer thought to be the best deal we would be able to get. I instantly started crying uncontrollably. What I was told I had to agree to was as follows: Joint legal custody, my son being allowed to move schools to Iowa, and once I was off probation that would be able to be enough to have a change of circumstance and may be able to get custody back. My attorney said I had no choice. When my husband got on the stand, he stated the exact opposite of what we just agreed to out in the hall. I turned to my lawyer and said “what the hell, that is not what I just agreed too”. My lawyer at that point and time “shushed“ me, and said we can fix it later. What came out was that I agreed to give up FULL legal and physical custody, allowing him to move from nightly phone calls to only twice a week and moving Wednesday night visits to Thursdays. It was almost surreal. I could not believe this just had happened. Also with this “agreement”, I supposedly said that I would drop the contempt hearing. I never ever would have let that go. I had a years worth of stuff on my husband to help with my case and My attorney didn’t bring one witness or text or my counseling documents…nothing. I lost because he was a lousy lawyer. Even after that, he still continues to break the agreement. I then hire a new lawyer.  She (seems to be) amazing and is FINALLY seeing things the way I see them and I think we are finally going to get somewhere with this case. At this point, I decide to get the guardianship terminated from my parents for my son Taylor as well. They did not like this very much and decide to fight, and they hire the same lawyer as my husbands. At this point I am fighting two cases. The ones with my parents, and the one with my husband. My lawyer tried at this point to go back and get everything entered in that the judge didnt hear. Mind you, he has not heard anything that my husband had done this last year at all. All he knows is that Melissa is crazy. This was just getting worse and worse for me. My parents and I were not on speaking terms throughout the last year so that made it even worse. My sisters both stopped talking to me even though they had nothing to do with it. Even though all this, I was determined. I filed a grievance against my previous attorney for lying to me and pretty much losing everything for me that day. I won. He has been been disbarred for what he did to me and another woman. Even with that, it wasn’t enough. The judge asked us both to enter decrees that we saw fit as there was a lot that we did not cover in mediation. And the only thing that we could have a trial on was property. By this time, my parents and I have gotten along fairly well. I started seeing Taylor on a daily basis. I ended up moving right down the street from my parents which was a risky decision but ended up being a great decision in the end. I ended up starting to see tayor on daily basis so that part was very good. 

This story is still on going so I will be giving one last update until current events. 

 

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