6/14/2017 Whirlwind…

Its been a while since my last post and I apologize.  A lot has happened in a little time.  Once again, I have been screwed by the courts!  😦 Since my last post, I had filed to get full custody of my son which was my right to do under our divorce decree.  Once I got off probation, I could file for custody.  I had also filed a contempt on my ex-husband because he never follows the order.  Here is the story behind that.  We have had the same judge for 6 YEARS!  So he knew us very well.  I had filed contempt on several things, a list of 68 things to be exact.  The judge then ordered us to attend high conflict mediation.  Which was a complete JOKE!  He had us in separate rooms (per my ex’s request) which I think is absolutely ridiculous.  Nothing is going to get accomplished if we can’t grow up and face each other.  We were literally in there for 15 min ($80 later) and that was the end of that.  I had made SEVERAL suggestions on how to resolve our issues and he shut every one of them down.  So then he put down on the paper that we were “unable to resolve”.  There was two spots on the paper, one said mother refused to cooperate and one said father refused to cooperate and neither were checked.  Ummmm, excuse me????  I cooperated very well and my ex never even made one suggestion so why on earth was that box not checked?!  So then we have to have sentencing because we were “unable to resolve our issues”.  Now, let me back up….when I filed my contempt on my ex, he filed one right back on me for non-payment of child support and for taking my son to the doctor…ONCE.  Yes, you read that right.  I took my son to the doctor and he filed that as a contempt.  Anyways, the judge before he sent us to mediation found that I had actually OVERPAID by $3000.00!  And my ex said that I had underpaid by $5000.00, goes to show how much he is an idiot.  So the ONLY thing that I had left that was a “contempt” was the doctors visit.  So we go in for sentencing.  This lady comes into the court room.  Judge Patricia Lamberty.  I will never ever forget her.  She came into the court and started yelling at us right off the bat.  Now im thinking to myself, who the F is this lady anyways and where the heck is our judge!?  Come to find out he got promoted to appellate court :/ I miss him very much because what happened with this lady was unlike anything I have ever heard of happening.  She yelled at us for about five minutes telling us how we are ruining our sons life, blah blah blah and here’s the kicker…sentenced us BOTH TO 30 DAYS IN JAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Wait…im sorry WHAT?!  I took my son to the freaking doctor why am I going to Jail???  The officer started walking over with freaking handcuffs.  Reminder, I have no attorney so I am sitting here not knowing wtf to do at this point.  So his attorney finally says something and says, Judge, is there anyway they can purge this to avoid jail. She immediately said “come up with a new order in 48 hours or you are both going to jail for 30 days”.  Now my head is spinning at this point.  A new order in 48 hours?  How am I supposed to even grasp what is going on let alone come up with a whole new order in 2 days?!  So we make arrangements to go to his attorneys office to get this done.  My parents go with to make sure everything is kosher.  So we get there and start hashing out details.  We going over everything, like drop/offs and pick/ups and Holidays and parenting time and then he states that Thursdays “don’t work for him” so he wants me to give them up.  Well I’m sorry they “don’t work for you” sir but I only see my son once a week and every other weekend so sorry but NO.  So then my Dad speaks up and says you only see him for two hours on Thursday anyways so do you want to go to jail??  Then my ex says if you give up Thursdays I’ll give him to you for 60 days in the summer.  Now my head is still spinning from the whirlwind of events that JUST happened at the courthouse and now I am trying to process all this happening in this room with a person I can’t stand.  I can’t take it home and mull it over, I have to make a decision right then and there or I risk being taken away from my boys for 30 days!  So I agree because in my mind I’m thinking well I still have my custody paperwork filed so this is only temporary.  So I also ask his attorney.  No decision here today is final correct?  I can still go forward with my custody hearing.  He said oh yes absolutely.  So I agree to forgo my Thursdays and have him for two months in the summer.  I told my ex that I was not going to do that to him.  Me trying to be nice once again bites me in the ass.  I said I could not possibly go two whole months without seeing my son so halfway, pick a weekend and you can have him for one weekend.  He resisted and then accepted.  Little did I know, freaking Father’s day falls right in line with the time I have him, so does Fourth of July.  Now again, I did not have time to mull this over.  The only thing in my mind is wow, two whole months with my son, that would be awesome…yeah no.  Its actually just about a month and a half because he will end up taking three entire weekends from me :/  He knew this at the time and knew I did not realize how much time I would actually be losing.  If this was not enough, I call to find out the court to find out when my next court date is and guess what they told me?!?!  My case is CLOSED.  There is not reopening it, no pass go, no collect $200.00.  Me “updating” our order said to the court we are done.  This is the new order and that’s that.  EXCUSE ME?!  I was told by the JUDGE and by my ex’s attorney that this in no way would effect my filing of custody.  I have talked to 4 attorneys and they have all turned me away saying there is nothing I can do.  I REFUSE to believe that.  We were forced by this judge to come up with a new order.  That has NOTHING to do with me getting custody of my son.  I have now filed a complaint against the Judge and am patiently waiting for a response.  In the meantime, I have had my son since June 🙂  It’s been ABSOLUTELY amazing having him this entire time.  It has been tough acclimating to getting two kids up in the AM to get ready for summer school/work/daycare but we are getting it done!  And I would not change it for anything in the world.  Every fit, every tear, every attitude, and every smile I savor those, because I don’t get them very often…soon we will go back to only seeing each other once every two weeks.  I don’t even want to think about that because its going to be unbearable.  So I apologize for the seldom posts as of late, but I have been spending every waking minute I can with my little buggaboo 🙂  Till’ next time my loves…

 

P.S. I will be posting the rest of my story soon, I just wanted to get out what had happened the last few months on here.  There’s still more to my previous story.  I swear this NEVER is ending 😦

Part 3 4/30/17

I go to the house, at this point its about 9:30 PM. I ring the doorbell and he is not answering. I know he is home because he has my younger son. My older son was at my parents home. I rang it another time with still no answer. I went around to the back and found that he was in the kitchen, with a mug of wine, literally walking in circles, in the dark. It was very eery. I waited on the porch for approximately 5 minutes. I just watched him. I could tell he was very drunk. My husband and his drinking was not uncommon. He drank nightly, at least a bottle of wine or 3-4 beers. I finally knocked on the glass. He saw me, and then closed the blinds. At this point I am worried for my sons safety. I knew he was drunk, and he was alone and depressed in the house with my son. I went around to the front and rang the doorbell repeatedly until he came to the door. He finally came to the door and he came outside. He just said “what”. I asked him if he would talk and he kept saying there was nothing to talk about. I just wanted to know why. Why he married me when he was doing these things, why he took vows AGAIN when he was in love with another woman. He finally ended up coming outside. He didn’t say much. Usually, this type of conversation ended up in a huge yelling match, but this time, it didn’t. We talked for about 5 minutes. It was very calm. Almost eerily calm. We decided to end the conversation and again, that our relationship was over. He proceeded to walk inside. I told him I was going to stay the night because he was obviously drunk, and I would get up with our son in the morning so he could sleep in.  He did not want that to happen. He said no. I said yes, I am going to stay with my son. I tried to go into the house and he leaned up against me trying to push me out. I said please just let me come in to take care of my son and I will leave in the morning. He said “get the $@&! out of my house. He then did the unthinkable. I truly believe it was a reaction, not making any excuses for him, but he was drunk and angry. He was leaning up against me and his elbow popped up and hit me in the side of the head. I got knocked out. I believe it was only for a quick second but I woke up on the ground half of my body in the doorway and half outside with the glass door hitting my legs. I woke up to him kicking me in the back saying “go passout somewhere else, no one gives a flying #@$& about you.” He had stealtoe boots on so this left several bruises all over me. I, very dizzy, got up and stumbled down the driveway. I, for some reason, thought to let the air out of his tire so he couldn’t leave. I called the police and walked down the street to get away. I was so scared as I knew my son was still in the home. The police came with an ambulance, and a firetruck. It was chaos. The police knocked on the door and when he failed to answer, they drew their guns. Mind you, we live in a nice neighborhood so this is not normal for this neighborhood. He finally came out, hands up and they arrested him. I was in the back of the ambulance at this point only worried about my son. I was screaming at the top of my lungs for him. The police bought him to me and I just held him. Fortunately, he was sound asleep and did not wake up for any of the mayhem. I called two of my friends and they raced to my home. I refused medical treatment, as I was scared and I didn’t know what to do, even though I knew i probably I needed it. I put my son back in his bed and went to talk to my friends. I had to wait for the victim response team as well. They urged me to go seek medical treatment as it would be imperative to be able to convict my husband. I went to the hospital and got checked out. The police came and took pictures of my bruises etc. I went home and did not sleep at all that night. I had called my parents that night and left them a voicemail to tell them the events of the evening. In the morning, I didn’t know what to do. I was very scared as I had no idea when he would be released. There is a thing called vine, which I had signed up for and I immediately was notified upon his release. I had no idea who had bailed him out of jail as I knew he had no money. The next thing I know, and the last thing I expected, my father is pulling up to the house with my husband in the car, they had bailed my husband out of jail. I immediately call the police. I had a protection order on my husband and I did not want him anywhere near my home. The police came and I gave him some clothes that he was requesting. The next day, I decided that I was going to drop the protection order against my husband. Mostly for the kids. I also wanted to drop the charges against him, but in the state of Nebraska, its not your choice. The state at this point is the one charging them, not the individual. I was still living in our home and my husband was staying at my parents house. About a week after the incident occurred, my parents talked me into trading places with my husband. I was VERY upset at the fact that they even took him in and I didn’t understand why they would do such a thing after he knocked out their own daughter. Reluctantly, I agreed. We traded places. I was very messed up emotionally at this point. My life literally been turned around in a matter of days. I was very depressed, emotional and confused. After a couple weeks, things got a little better. My husband and I started speaking again. Although I wanted to be back with him (no idea why) he didnt. I admit at this point it was a little obsessive. We were getting along. My husband was doing some side jobs building decks. I would pick the kids up from him, we would go out to lunch/dinner with the kids etc. It was good, for a while. This abruptly stopped on the night of October 12th, 2013. My husband and I were talking every night, texts, phone calls the whole bit. But on this particular night, it stopped. I started actually getting worried that he wasn’t answering, and into the next day, still no answer. I ended up going to the zoo that day, still wondering what was going on. I had both kids with me. I went by our home on the way home, and what I found I’ll never forget. My husband, was walking out of our home with another woman. I pulled in the driveway and got out of the car to confront him about this. He just said I needed to leave, etc. I know this was wrong as the kids were with me, but my mind took over. I pulled into the garage and he left. I stayed at the home for approximately 3 days. Again my parents convinced me and I finally decided it was time to leave as I knew if I went back to work he was just going to come back and take the house anyways. I left in a hurry only grabbing the things I saw. I grabbed a trash bag full of clothes, the PS3, and a binder of movies. I didn’t have a lawyer at this time and my husband was trying to get custody of my son. I decided, on a temporary basis, until I got help for my depression, that he could have temp custody. Little did I know, this would decision would haunt me for the rest of my life. We sat in a conference room at the courthouse and made a verbal agreement that he would temporarily have custody until I got help. My husband started not letting me see my son, which was such a change from before he met this woman. He kept him from me for two months. This is where my severe depression started. From mid October to December, I don’t remember much of what happened as it went by so quick. I was not doing well at all. I threatened suicide, which was a complete cry for attention. I had not done that since I was a teenager and I would never ever kill myself, but I did it for attention. The horrible part of this, is when I threatened suicide, my older son was in the next room and heard me. I then knew it was time for help and something quick. I saw a counselor and she suggested that I get help at an inpatient treatment center. I did not want to do this. Those facilities only make you more depressed, for me anyways. My mother came with me to my counseling appointment and told me she thinks it is best that if they take guardianship of my son until I decide to get help. She said it would only be temporary so I agreed. They filed the paperwork and I signed. I then put myself through a two week partial care program. That helped a lot, but I was far from better. I had got depressed again to a new level. I had a huge fight with my mother and she wanted me out of the house. I again, threatened to kill myself and was going to leave. She begged me not to leave and if I did she would call the police. I was half way out of the driveway and I slammed the car into drive and pulled back in. My mother was in the doorway of the garage, so I was no where near her. She then started the claims that I tried to “hit her with my car” which are in several affidavits against me. She called the police, and kicked me out of my home and got a restraining order against me and it included my son. I fought that, but lost. I think this was mostly due to the threat and my son hearing me.  I was allowed to have supervised visits with my son twice a week for two hours. I had to move in with my best friend and her girlfriend. They took me in and and took care of me. I had about a month where I drank almost every single day getting a DUI in the process. Keep in mind I still had not seen my son. The next month was kind of a blur. I ended up pretty much losing my mind. I stalked my husband, everyday. I found out that he and his girlfriend had moved my son to Iowa, two days after knowing her on October 12th. I became obsessed with this. I wanted to know who she was and where my son was living. One night, somehow, (I still have no idea how) but I came across where she lives. I saw my husbands car outside her home. It got really bad after this. I went to her house daily. Literally stalking them like a crazy person. One night, I went to their home and I poured sugar in her gas tank and then I keyed her car. My best friend really helped me out of this period, although she did not know all of the details of what all I did during the time I was at her home. I moved out of Her house because they were moving and it was time for me to move on. I had stopped drinking at this point and After that, I started to get better. In January, it was time for my husbands trial for the domestic violence. He chose to have a jury trial and maintained his innocence, with my parents on his side of the courtroom supporting him. The trial lasted for a full day and the verdict came in around 7PM. Guilty. He got a $100 fine. I was flabbergasted. I could not believe he pretty much got away scotch free! I moved in with two people that I worked with at the time. I didn’t do much of anything anymore. Just stayed at home. I had surgery in early March to remove part of my tailbone due to severe pain. I was laying in bed after coming home from the store and on the night of March 12, 2014, I was arrested in my home. At the time, I was in denial and had NO clue why I was being arrested. I soon found out why. I denied what I did for about 3 days. I then realized what I was doing. I just need to come clean, and take responsibility for what I did. I spent the next week in jail. I had a warrant in two counties so when I bailed out of one, I had to be extradited to the other and bail out of that one. This was quite possibly the worst time in my life. I had never been in jail and not seeing my kids for a week broke me like I never thought I could be broken. That is when I really started to turn my life around. I vowed to get better for my children as they were the only thing that mattered in this and I had to have them back! Once I was out of jail the supervised visits continued. This was so hard for me as my children are my whole life, I was a stay at home Mom for two years so to go from that to this was unbearable. I had to either meet them at the mall, or my home for two hour periods. This lasted for about two months. My husband also started letting me see my son for the same periods of time, although he was constantly late. Every moment with my sons is precious and savored every minute of it. The next few months were hard, but at least I was seeing my kids. I ended up moving again, to my friend Stephanies couch. I had no job at this point and I had nothing. I got a job shortly after as an operations manager at a health insurance data solutions company. I got my first attorney shortly before I had gone to jail. She stated that I was pretty much screwed. She represented me for a while but we then mutually parted ways as We did not agree with what I wanted. Everyone was using my “mental” state against me and what I did against me and I did not think that was fair. My husband was convicted of domestic abuse and how could he get my son over me?! And I also wanted the guardianship terminated and she did not think that was going to happen either. The hard part of this is my father is a very well respected person and CEO of a company. My mother on the other hand, had just had a DUI the last year. The questions kept running through my head, why am I being portrayed as such a bad person!? I do know that what I did was wrong, I openly admitted this in court come July and took the sentence that was given to me. My husband constantly broke the agreement we had, missed two months of visits, phone calls etc, and it continued. We agreed in March that if there were no issues for 30 days than I could have my visitation back. 30 days came and went. It would be about 2-3 months later that I got partial visitation back and nothing had happened during that 30 days. I still only saw my son rarely. I then ended up getting my previous divorce Lawyer involved. And boy was that a mistake. He represented me for a total of about 3-4 months. We had a trial coming up in November for custody of my youngest child. At this point, my mental state is fine. I had gone through a lot of treatment, and still to this day see a counselor. My attorney seemed optimistic that I would be able to get my kids back but it was going to be a battle. I had several witnesses to bring to trial with me. My best friend, my counselors, my other friends, co-workers, etc. On the day of trial, My attorney came into the courtroom with a sad looking briefcase, with nothing but a notebook in it. The opposing, came in with mounds of evidence. Part of this trial was a contempt order that I was holding against my husband for all the missed times, missed phone calls, etc. When we first got there, the two attorneys went into the chambers with the judge. Mind you I have to now sit in the courtroom with his pregnant girlfriend, all her friends and family, and my parents ALL of which were supporting my husband. The next two hours changed my life forever. My lawyer stated that I was going to lose and I had no choice but to make a deal with them. We went into the hallway and mediated what my lawyer thought to be the best deal we would be able to get. I instantly started crying uncontrollably. What I was told I had to agree to was as follows: Joint legal custody, my son being allowed to move schools to Iowa, and once I was off probation that would be able to be enough to have a change of circumstance and may be able to get custody back. My attorney said I had no choice. When my husband got on the stand, he stated the exact opposite of what we just agreed to out in the hall. I turned to my lawyer and said “what the hell, that is not what I just agreed too”. My lawyer at that point and time “shushed“ me, and said we can fix it later. What came out was that I agreed to give up FULL legal and physical custody, allowing him to move from nightly phone calls to only twice a week and moving Wednesday night visits to Thursdays. It was almost surreal. I could not believe this just had happened. Also with this “agreement”, I supposedly said that I would drop the contempt hearing. I never ever would have let that go. I had a years worth of stuff on my husband to help with my case and My attorney didn’t bring one witness or text or my counseling documents…nothing. I lost because he was a lousy lawyer. Even after that, he still continues to break the agreement. I then hire a new lawyer.  She (seems to be) amazing and is FINALLY seeing things the way I see them and I think we are finally going to get somewhere with this case. At this point, I decide to get the guardianship terminated from my parents for my son Taylor as well. They did not like this very much and decide to fight, and they hire the same lawyer as my husbands. At this point I am fighting two cases. The ones with my parents, and the one with my husband. My lawyer tried at this point to go back and get everything entered in that the judge didnt hear. Mind you, he has not heard anything that my husband had done this last year at all. All he knows is that Melissa is crazy. This was just getting worse and worse for me. My parents and I were not on speaking terms throughout the last year so that made it even worse. My sisters both stopped talking to me even though they had nothing to do with it. Even though all this, I was determined. I filed a grievance against my previous attorney for lying to me and pretty much losing everything for me that day. I won. He has been been disbarred for what he did to me and another woman. Even with that, it wasn’t enough. The judge asked us both to enter decrees that we saw fit as there was a lot that we did not cover in mediation. And the only thing that we could have a trial on was property. By this time, my parents and I have gotten along fairly well. I started seeing Taylor on a daily basis. I ended up moving right down the street from my parents which was a risky decision but ended up being a great decision in the end. I ended up starting to see tayor on daily basis so that part was very good. 

This story is still on going so I will be giving one last update until current events. 

 

4/29/17 Part 2

  • About 4 days after we were married, I found out he had unlocked his phone. I did start checking almost nightly because it started bothering me again. At first, I didnt find anything and I was happy about that. Then, I went into his sent mail…he must have forgot to delete those. I found emails from several girls. He had posted sex ads on craigslist and had about 15, that I know of, encounters. I even found that some of these woman had come to our home while my child was sleeping, in the short time we were apart. This broke me. I did not know how to handle this situation. I ended up doing something I know now is wrong, but it gave me the information that I needed at the time. I installed spyware on his phone. This gave me much more than I bargained for. I only had the spyware on for one day when I found out what was truly going on. There were several texts going back and forth with one number consistently, but overall several numbers. That day, once I knew what was really going on, I called him. I asked him what he was doing. He said he was going to the dealership to sign the last of the paperwork. (we had just bought a new car). This was a bold faced lie. I knew that the paperwork was done, and I knew he was on the phone with the number that had come up several times. I had interrupted their phone call. I saw immediately, that he called that number right back as soon as we hung up the phone. I called him back later and told him what I knew. He called me a liar, denied what I was accusing him of, told me he was done with me and hung up on me. I left our home in a hurry as I did not want to see him when he came back to the house. I called my mother and explained to her what happened. I was very upset at this point. Crying uncontrollably, and could not handle my emotions. My mom said she would meet me at a fast food place that was by our home, so I proceeded to drive there. I then called that infamous number. A woman answered the phone and I could not contain myself. I immediately started screaming at her and accusing her of getting in between my husband and I. To my surprise, she let me rant for about 3-5 minutes when she said can I speak now? I reluctantly said go ahead. She had explained to me that she worked with my husband, and she was cheating on her husband with him. She started this relationship with him when my husband and I had first separated. She stated that she ended the relationship about two months after it started. She told me she was very happy with her husband and that it was a huge mistake that she had made. My husband, didnt seem to think so. She said he was borderline stalking her. She stated that she had told him several times to please leave her alone and to focus on his family. She continued to tell me that the phone conversation they had just had was her telling him to give me a chance and go home to his wife. He started crying on the phone she said. Kept saying he loved her and only wanted her. This woman and I continued to talk for about 45 minutes. I believed her. To this day, I truly believe what she was saying was true. We ended up hanging up the phone and my mother pulled up. She started accusing me of being the cause of all of this. That I was in the wrong. I then at this point was very upset and started to pull away. She was screaming at me to stop. I stopped and she pulled up next to me and got out and opened my door. At this point, I just wanted to calm down, go get my kids and go home. I kept telling my mother to get away from my car so I could shut the door. She wouldnt let me shut the door. As soon as she took her arm away, I closed the door. She at that point tried to stop the door by sticking her arm in the door as it closed. She then states I did in on purpose and tried to hurt her. (this will become more important later). I found out that he had already went and got my kids. I didnt know what to do or where to go. I ended up calling him and we decided that it be best if we talk. I went and picked him up and we went to the park because he would not “allow” me back in the house.  Not much was said. We just decided that it was over. We had been married for 6 days at this point so I was completely broken. I put a lot on the line, risked friendships etc, to marry him again. I dropped him back off at home, he packed me a very small suitcase and I left. I called him a couple hours later and it was a very scary conversation. He seemed very depressed, I had never heard him talk like this ever. I was actually worried for his safety at this point.  I had called and told my parents, but I am not sure what they did about it. I ended up going up to my work to wait for my friend to get off and talk to him about what happened. He suggested that I go back to the house to talk to him to try one last time to speak to him. This is where is the whirlwind of events start to happen and I wish I would have never gone back to that house because what happened next ruined my life….

4/26/2017 part 1

Two more days till my see my baby. After two whole weeks without him. Sometimes it’s hard to get through a day because the pain is so difficult. But I move forward with all the pain and make the best of the time I have. 

My story, as I have said, goes back five years ago….I want to tell MY story, open up my life to all the woman out there suffering with this and to show people how strong we can be! 

 I am going to start this at the beginning. There is a lot to this story and I must preface it with what I have been through in my life.  This story is extremely long so I will be posting in parts. 

 I have had “behavior” issues since I was a young child. I am 33 now just for information’s sake. I was an angry child I guess you could say. I used to throw many fits, hit my parents, etc. I got sent away to a nature camp called ascent when I was 13. I came home and we moved to Omaha, NE because my dad quit his job and my dad’s family is from Iowa. Once we moved here, I was still out of control. I threatened to kill myself at 15 and my parents had the police come get me and take me to impatient treatment. I then went to a girls group home. After my 16th birthday, I got to come home. About 9 months later, my mom said she wanted me to go visit my Aunt in Idaho. When I went there, I was visited at the airport by two people who took me to Ascent yet again. I then was not able to come home. I went to an emotional growth school called CEDU. I got in trouble a few times there but overall did “okay”. Not great but okay. I was about to turn 18, graduated the high school portion and I did not want to stay to graduate the program. I told my parents that if they did not bring me home, I was going to just leave. (I was a very good manipulator), They did end up bringing me home, but I did not do well once home. I drank all the time, snuck out, etc. (Mind you I am leaving out tons, but this is just leading up to the actual story). My parents gave me an ultimatum to either go into the military or move out. I chose the Military. I did very well while in the Military. I believe it was the structure that caused me to do so well. While I was in, I got pregnant from a man that I was with for 2 ½ years. We broke up. I was reckless and ended up marrying a man I hardly knew. I asked to get out of the military resulting in an other than honorable discharge and I moved to Virginia with my new husband. We were together for about 2 years. He left for a deployment after about a year and a half and I moved back home during that time. He wrote me a dear John letter and told me he was leaving. I decided I needed to be in Virginia when he got back to try and save our marriage as it was so important to me. When I did this, I left my son with my parents ( I’ll get to the reason this is important later). I soon realized we were not meant to be together, I brought out the worst in him and he did with me as well. We mutually divorced and later ended up moving back home and we are still friends to this day. Anyways, while I was in Virginia, I met my most recent husband. We will call him Steve for the sake of saving names (that name has no ties to my life just to be clear, but I did not get his permission to use his name so I am going to omit it).  He and I were very happy. We moved back to Omaha as soon as we could so we could be with my son. He gave up everything for me. I ended up getting pregnant (we were trying so this was not an accident) and he later proposed. I had decided at one point to call off the engagement because I didn’t feel right about the whole thing. Little things he did made me mad and we would fight etc. After one night of him going out, I had very extreme jealousy about it and decided to work it out when realizing how unhappy I would be without him. I had my son in April 2009. We were happy for a while. Together for a total of 7 years. We fought on and off like any couple, but at the end it got really bad. Here is where the real story starts (at first this is going to seem like the typical domestic abuse story, but that is just part of this whole fiasco)…:

 When we fought, we fought. One time, we were fighting and I cant even remember what it was about, but I ended up going into my sons room because he was crying. I threw a picture into the hallway because I was so upset. He happened to be walking down the hall and it almost hit him. I did not see him at all as the wall was there so there is no way I could have seen him walking down the hall and when I walked away he was in the living room. He got so upset that he threw me on the floor, shoving my face towards the glass and was yelling at me to pick it up. I ended up taking my son across the street to my neighbors house and calling my mother. I picked up my older son at school and we headed to my moms. Not much later, I end up going back. My parents convinced me I was wrong and didn’t believe me about what he did.  

 In October of 2011, I asked for a divorce. We were fighting all the time, he wouldn’t go to counseling with me etc. He would not listen and begged for me not to file for divorce. I ended up having a relationship with someone I worked with. I was VERY open about this relationship to him and at this point.  Before I ever started anything with this man, had asked for a divorce about 6 times. I left my phone unlocked, left emails up on my computer, talked to this person in front of him, just to get him to realize it was over. (Why I didn’t move out at the time, I really don’t know, part of the reason I think my pride, and the other money). He, to this day tells everyone I “cheated on him”, even though he was fully aware of what was going on, and I had asked for a divorce several times. He finally ended up getting it, and we filed for divorce. We were very civil about it, even went to lunch on the day of our divorce in March of 2012. I gave him full custody at the time and this was purely selfish and something I will regret for the rest of my life as I would have no idea how this would hurt me later. I just needed me time and I was spending a lot of time with the guy I was with (who had a girlfriend by the way), and that was the reason that I did that. I regret that with every piece of myself now. Though, we never followed that agreement. We we together all the time after our divorce, went to the zoo as a family, traded off the kids about 50/50, helped each other out etc. We started dating again about August of 2012, that same year. Everything was fine until about Jan 2013. He would have his phone locked, not answer me, etc. I didn’t really read too much into it yet. I moved back in around March 2013. We started seeing a counselor (even though he said it was for me, not him but whatever to get him to go, aand even the counselor suggested that he unlock his phone because not doing so is suspicious. I would check every so often after he went to bed and it would still be locked. I had stopped asking questions, and tried my hardest not to seem suspicious. He had always said that when I stop being so jealous, he would unlock it. I decided to forget this and try and move on. We decided to get remarried on July 18th 2013. We were happy, very happy, for just a split second. Here is where the real story begins….

I will be posting in separate posts. One because it is SUCH A LONG STORY and two because it’s ongoing. Still has not ended. Once I get the entire story out I will post updates to currently what is going on. 

Stay strong my friends. I’m with you 100% and if we unite together, we can change this. 

4/18/17

Today.  Today is a day I will never forget.  Today I decided to start this blog of bringing Mothers alike together to fight the fight that just ended for me today.  Fighting for my son.  I have been told numerous times by several attorneys that this is over.  There is nothing more I can do.  I REFUSE to accept that as an answer.  I can’t.  This is my BABY!  MY SON!  My last son.  This is it for me.  I cannot have more kids, while my ex-husband is out there having more kids and here I am.  My 2nd son, ripped from my arms and there’s NOTHING I can do.  No.  I will not EVER take no for an answer and I will fight until my last dying breath.  And I will continue to advocate for ALL of the woman out there fighting this same fight.  Together, we can make a change.  This day, today, we come together as one to show these courts that this is not the best way for children to grow up.  Today, we stand UNITED.